The Sins of The Father

In most cases, when parents have the concern or issue of passing the 'Sins of the Father' onward to their children, we usually think in terms of the negative aspects of our human nature, our weaknesses, sins, vices, low morals and even depravity at times.  In these cases, we try to resist wallowing in the accesses of flesh and desire.  But what of the cases where the 'Sins' are turned inside out and back upon ourselves?  When wallowing is the furthest thing from out minds and instead, we find ourselves in a constant state of vigilance against and at times even at war with, the Frailty that is at the very core of the nature of Humanity itself.  What is one to do, when the  sin you carry  to which you cannot succumb, are that one  thing which, as a human being,  you can also never truly overcome?

What happens when a parent sets the things for his childs grasp always just a bit outside his reach, so that he will stretch, so that he will test, find and know his limits?  Head and Shoulders above words and lessons, a parents actions lived across the childs lifetime become a role model that indoctrinates that childs mind and being more steathily and surely than any other possible influence in their lives.  Those things that happen to us in our childhood are either what we become or what we over come.  It all comes down to one or the other.

Speaking to myself,  I now see the 'Sins of My Father', how I  got here, what was role modeled and laid out before me.  I know why I cannot forgive myself the fraility and weaknesses of my humanity, why I hate and fight at their existance so in me.  I also know how to still at the same time, love and honor myself, most of the time.  But my point here is this, even with this understanding, I still fight this demon and I do see now it is a demon, a weakness and a 'sickness' made no more noble than sins of the flesh, simply because I am holding myself up to a 'higher' calling or 'standard' .  Just because you sacrifice yourself upon an alter of your own making, it does not necessarily make that alter more worthy or valuable to you.

Does the child,  grown to  a young man,  rail against what he is not, becaause he thinks, knows he is good enough to be, should be that thing he yearns for,  here and now, becaue he is ready for it to be part of,  or to let it go from,  his life?  Or is he simply imitating the actions of the Father modeled for him over all those years?

Do the 'Sins of the Father' sound like this?

"You can be more, you can do more, you should do more, show me more, give me more, you are more,  try harder, reach further, do better, Always Be More"

And Then -

"I can be more, I should be more, I should have been more, I could have been more, I will be more, I will do more, I will become more, I will not be silent and still"

Ultimately, though there is no personal payoff in mayterdom or self-flaggelation, it only leads us as this has, in circles.  For I was that child upon whom the 'Sins of the Father' were perpurtrated, and I am that parent who has in turn, purpurtrated those same 'Sins' and I now have children whom I must watch in their own daily rituals of self-torture, and it has taken this, sadly, all, for me to see things clearly.  My self crucifxition and the mirror image I now encounter daily in my children as they do the same, does Nothing to bring us closer to Who, What and Where we want to be.  It Serves No Purpose, save perhaps other than to present a distraction from the real work that lay at hand  before each of us.  And maybe that was the point all along. 

For I Believe Everything Here Returns to That One Simple Statement:

 "Those Things That Happen To Us In Our Childhood Are Either What We Become Or What We Over Come"

I now see that this is what it has always been about.  It's about how long it takes for us to actually grasp this concept in our lives, to feel the truth of it.  Then it is about how long it takes for us to decide which parts we want to be and which parts we want to overcome or let go of.  Once we are able to do that, there are no more  "Sins Perpertrated', because we carry no more sins within.  The Cycle is then broken, Our Reach Finally Meets Our Grasp and We Are Freed!

Parenting Indigo Children - Integrity & Consistancy 101

Parenting in General and also Parenting an Indigo (or any other Special & Unique) Child always carries it's own Situational Challenges, as most parents are all to aware. My first challenge overall is remembering 'Not to Take or Make it Personal' between them and myself. My second issue, specifically in relation to  Parenting an Indigo Child, is to remember that sometimes they do think, communicate and behave as others their age do, Imagine That?? :oD Who'd of Thought, huh?


In regards to the first challenge of Parenting In General, 'Not Taking It Personally', I have to say I've found many other parents in the same boat with me and this is one of the first things I work on with Parents who are having 'communication' issues with their children.  I've identified several factors that appear to contribute to this situation.

• As working, career minded working adults, we spend a good majority of our time in professional or occupational environments, interacting with our peers.  There are work & social standards & guidelines that are a given, which we follow on a daily basis without much thought; these standards of communication and behavior are pretty much a 'given'.  When we come home however, we must 'switch gears' as it were, thereby entering into an entirely different mode of not only communication and behavior, but alternative thought processes as well.  In truth, this 'switch' applies to all parents, regardless of their state of employment, because what we are really speaking of here are those 'Socially expected and acceptable behaviours across all levels of our lives.  When our children behave in ways that are rude, unappreciative, ungrateful, thoughtless, inconsiderate and generally self-serving, it can be extremely difficult to practice situational detachment by taking an emotional step back for an objective viewpoint.

When Parenting an Indigo Child, many times as parents we find ourselves in 'Uncharted Territories', with us following our Indigo's lead, rather than Vice Versa. These children fill our lives with wonder and awe, simply by being who they are and doing the things that they are so amazingly capable of doing. At times however, all that 'Specialness' goes out the window and they act like, well, just like 'normal' kids do and does it ever throw me for a loop!! Right about the time you get used to and accept 'Odd, Unexpected and Unbeleivable' as 'Common Place' and the 'New Norm', they go and behave like regular garden variety kids.  Rather than practicing maturity, responsibility, communication and actions beyond their age, they throw you for a complete loop by acting & behaving the way we did as kids. Oh My!! I've noticed with my Indigo's some contributing factors in trying to figure out how to handle these flipping of the switches.

• These behavior changes seems to happen after a steady or sudden period of growth or an  intense utilization of their gifts and abilities beyond the norm for them. 
• When they have been sick with a cold or flu, or have been isolating themselves over a period of time.
• When they feel unheard, misunderstood, overlooked or unappreciated.
• When they feel as though they have been backed into a corner, losing their sense of power and control over either themselves, their abilities, social interactions, or their home life in general.
• Sometimes it's as if they just 'Need' to 'Act' like a 'Normal' kid for awhile. I've observed that this is the Indigo's form of 'Blowing off Steam', odd though it may seem/sound to us.

In both cases I've found that calmly (and objectively) indentifying the behavior in question, setting agreed upon boundaries and in certain cases letting the child take the lead in 'Problem Resolution' can go a Long Way very Quickly, at least in our home.  

Lots of Deep Breaths, walks around the block together and seperately do amazing things for objectivity and creative conflict resolution. 

Best of Luck and Remember Above All Else to Maintane Respect, Objectivity and Consideration on All Levels, While Always Acting With and Out of Love for Each Other Above All Else!

Namaste!