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“There is something about words. In expert hands, manipulated deftly, they take you prisoner. Wind themselves around your limbs like spider silk, and when you are so enthralled you cannot move, they pierce your skin, enter your blood, numb your thoughts. Inside you they work their magic…”
Margaret (The Thirteenth Tale, Diane Setterfield)



Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Parenting Indigo Children - Integrity & Consistancy 101


Parenting in General and also Parenting an Indigo (or any other Special & Unique) Child always carries it's own Situational Challenges, as most parents are all to aware. My first challenge overall is remembering 'Not to Take or Make it Personal' between them and myself. My second issue, specifically in relation to  Parenting an Indigo Child, is to remember that sometimes they do think, communicate and behave as others their age do, Imagine That?? :oD Who'd of Thought, huh?



In regards to the first challenge of Parenting In General, 'Not Taking It Personally', I have to say I've found many other parents in the same boat with me and this is one of the first things I work on with Parents who are having 'communication' issues with their children.  I've identified several factors that appear to contribute to this situation.


  • As working, career minded working adults, we spend a good majority of our time in professional or occupational environments, interacting with our peers.  There are work & social standards & guidelines that are a given, which we follow on a daily basis without much thought; these standards of communication and behavior are pretty much a 'given'.  When we come home however, we must 'switch gears' as it were, thereby entering into an entirely different mode of not only communication and behavior, but alternative thought processes as well.  In truth, this 'switch' applies to all parents, regardless of their state of employment, because what we are really speaking of here are those 'Socially expected and acceptable behaviours across all levels of our lives.  When our children behave in ways that are rude, unappreciative, ungrateful, thoughtless, inconsiderate and generally self-serving, it can be extremely difficult to practice situational detachment by taking an emotional step back for an objective viewpoint.
When Parenting an Indigo Child, many times as parents we find ourselves in 'Uncharted Territories', with us following our Indigo's lead, rather than Vice Versa. These children fill our lives with wonder and awe, simply by being who they are and doing the things that they are so amazingly capable of doing. At times however, all that 'Specialness' goes out the window and they act like, well, just like 'normal' kids do and does it ever throw me for a loop!! Right about the time you get used to and accept 'Odd, Unexpected and Unbeleivable' as 'Common Place' and the 'New Norm', they go and behave like regular garden variety kids.  Rather than practicing maturity, responsibility, communication and actions beyond their age, they throw you for a complete loop by acting & behaving the way we did as kids. Oh My!! I've noticed with my Indigo's some contributing factors in trying to figure out how to handle these flipping of the switches.

  • These behavior changes seems to happen after a steady or sudden period of growth or an  intense utilization of their gifts and abilities beyond the norm for them. 
  • When they have been sick with a cold or flu, or have been isolating themselves over a period of time.
  • When they feel unheard, misunderstood, overlooked or unappreciated.
  • When they feel as though they have been backed into a corner, losing their sense of power and control over either themselves, their abilities, social interactions, or their home life in general.
  • Sometimes it's as if they just 'Need' to 'Act' like a 'Normal' kid for awhile. I've observed that this is the Indigo's form of 'Blowing off Steam', odd though it may seem/sound to us.
In both cases I've found that calmly (and objectively) indentifying the behavior in question, setting agreed upon boundaries and in certain cases letting the child take the lead in 'Problem Resolution' can go a Long Way very Quickly, at least in our home.  
Lots of Deep Breaths, walks around the block together and seperately do amazing things for objectivity and creative conflict resolution. 
Best of Luck and Remember Above All Else to Maintane Respect, Objectivity and Consideration on All Levels, While Always Acting With and Out of Love for Each Other Above All Else!

Namaste!




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